


We are Family, Too

by Samanstiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: #casdean - Freeform, #castiel - Freeform, #dean winchester, #deancas, #destiel, #destiel fluff, #fluff, #love, #scenario, #season11, #supernatural - Freeform, #supernatural season 11, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-14 00:18:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4542978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samanstiel/pseuds/Samanstiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Supernatural Season 11 is upon is, and in the anticipation of this event I have decided to write a short scenario of Dean and Cas in which Dean apologizes to Cas for the events that happened in 10x22, ya know, when Dean attacked him. This little scenario is how I would imagine Dean admitting deeper feelings for Cas in a manner that is subtle (in the spirit of Supernatural) yet obvious. This scenario is also based on what knowledge we have of season 11, so it is set after Cas is reunited with Sam and Dean, the attack dog curse finally fading and they are all prepared to face The Darkness together. Castiel has been recovering and is sitting with Dean at one of the tables in the library, Dean is having a drink while Sam is off doing research, Dean left behind because Cas isn’t 100% yet and the two figured Cas needed someone to stay just in case he needed help.  Excuse any grammatical errors, this is a rough draft and I have only revised it twice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We are Family, Too

**We are Family, Too**

“How are you feeling?” Dean asked Cas, who sat at one of the tables in the library of the bunker.

“Erm, better, I suppose,” Cas answered with a small smile of relief. Dean nodded.

“Good,” Dean spoke, sitting down in the chair adjacent to Cas. “You had me worried there.”

“I’m sorry”—

“Don’t apologize, Cas,” Dean interrupted, sitting the drink he had made down on the table in front of him, leaning over it with his fingers locked together, his eyes fixated on the man in front of him. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I started all of this—all this, and you told me to stop”—

“No, Cas,” Dean interrupted again, shaking his head. Cas’s lips hung open, ready to protest, but his expression softened, waiting to hear what Dean had to say. “You didn’t know this would happen, and you were just trying to save me. I should be apologizing to you.”

“Dean,” Cas shook his head, his voice soft with disapproval, “You don’t have to apologize”—

“Yes, I do. We can’t just shake that off, Cas. What I did to you, back when Charlie was killed—that was uncalled for.” Dean spoke genuinely with self-hatred in his voice. “I shouldn’t have attacked you…that was the last thing in the world I wanted to do, but I was so angry and confused. Hyped up on The Mark, but that’s no excuse. You were doing what you thought was right, and it was all to save me. Hell, Cas, everything you do is to save me, and honestly…I don’t know why you and Sammy try so hard.”

“You don’t think you deserve to be saved?” Cas declared, the familiarity of the words forced a small smile on Dean’s lips. He bowed his head for a moment in remembrance, temporarily speechless by words so simple yet so thoughtful.

“I’ve…made this awkward?” Cas questioned and Dean shook his head.

“No, well, with all respect awkwardness kind of is your thing,” Dean answered with a chuckle and Cas smiled.

“I guess I am just trying to say…I’m sorry. For everything. For attacking you, for leaving you here, for threatening you, for getting so angry when you were just trying to help. I’m sorry, Cas. I don’t want to feel guilty about this any more, I want to move on and for you to fight with us. Help us clean up this mess. Truthfully, there are only two people left in the world who really care about me— one is my brother, who is kind of stuck with me because we are family, and you…which is funny, really. An angel of the lord, so bent on saving someone like me. Why though, Cas? Why do you care about me so much?” Dean questioned.

“I meant what I said, Dean. Everyone would die…of age, disease, anything, except me. I would be the one to watch you murder the world.”

“Yes, I know, I heard, but why would you keep trying? Why would you stay with me so long, even after I became the monster that I did?”

“Because…” Cas paused, pondering. “We are family, too.”

“But you’ve watched after us, all of us all of these years, and you choose to become family with Sam and I? Out of all of the humans?”

“You two showed me what it was like to be free, you welcomed me when my own family rejected me. Rebellious angel Castiel, it only makes sense that I would be taken with the most rebellious humans who ever existed, too stubborn to accept the way things are and too righteous to allow people to be torn apart by the supernatural. I didn’t belong with anyone else. I’m different…I’m unsure why, but I am sure that I belong here…with you.”

“Cas…” Dean smiled affectionately. The two watched each other with little smiles on their faces for several moments before more words were finally spoken.

“I’m glad you found us,” Dean admitted.

“Me too.”

“Cas, I have to tell you something.” Dean spoke, shifting in his seat.

“Of course…what is it?” Cas’s curiosity peaked and he leaned over the table, his own hands woven together like his companion’s, except Dean’s didn’t stay in that position for too much longer. He slowly untangled his fingers, leaving one hand spread out on the table, the other moving slowly, finally resting on top of Cas’s hands. Cas tensed up a bit, glancing down at the soft touch and then back up at Dean, his head tilting slightly, unsure of what to make of such a simple yet tender gesture coming from a man who rarely showed such emotion. He moved his right hand away from the grasp, leaving his left fully exposed to Dean’s touch. Dean cupped his hand on top Cas’s, thumbing at Cas’s knuckles lightly, his eyes fixated on their hands as Cas watched Dean’s expressions. Dean wore a shy smile. Thought collected on his brow. Castiel waited for what Dean had to say.

“When I had The Mark,” Dean began, finally looking back up at Cas, “I thought I was going to die. I was giving up, I was accepting that I could never escape it. I was already gone, as far as I was concerned. Do you know what kept me going—what motivated me to keep trying?”

Cas’s blank confusion cued Dean to answer the question for him.

“Two people—Sam, and you,” Dean answered. Cas relaxed a bit, flattered by the returned affection. He couldn’t help but smile.

“I kept thinking in my head, ‘I am doing this for them, I am doing this for them,’ and that is what kept me going…what kept me up at night. I would think and think…all of the possibilities, all of the reasons, and they all revolved around my brother and my best friend. I realized…things aren’t as small as what I thought they were. I thought about everything, so much, and I realized that there is more to it all than I thought. Life—there’s more to it, there’s more to my relationship with Sam, and there is more to me and you. I realized that there are things that I wanted to do, feelings I wanted to express…differently than before. This process of changing, I realized, it all began when I met you.”

“Dean…”

“Cas,” Dean swallowed. He thought the explanation of his emotions would bring him some relief, but he was never good at admitting how he felt. This was hard. Cas knew it was.

“I care about you. Some of the things I have said, didn’t say, done, didn’t do…you didn’t deserve that. Truthfully, I didn’t understand it—how I feel, and I still don’t. The people who I care about…they die, maybe that is why I have always pushed you away, or maybe because you and I aren’t just friends. I once told you that you and I were family, and that you were like a brother to me. You and I are family, Cas, but I don’t feel the same way about you that I do about Sam. I tried, but I just can’t, and I’m done lying to you and I am done lying to myself. Secrets tear this family apart, so this is me confessing to you that I care about you…that I, I need you, and I want you here…no more guilt, no more secrets, no more lies, from both of us. I am being honest right now, and damn is it hard, but it is better than keeping it inside and regretting it later.”

“You…don’t see me as family?” Cas questioned, his smile fading, his eyes shifting down.

“No, no!” Dean was desperate to make Cas understand. He leaned closer, tightening his grip of Cas’s hand. Cas looked up at Dean with hurt and confusion. “I’m not explaining myself very good, am I? I am terrible at this kind of thing.”

“Your heart is beating rapidly,” Cas blurted out, looking down at their hands. Cas’s thumb was pressed against the underside of Dean’s wrist. Dean took a shaky breath in.

“Yeah, yeah, I know…I thought I was terrified going in to this and now I am terrified that you think I don’t see you as family. No, Cas. What I meant was, I don’t see you the way I see Sam, or saw Charlie…I don’t feel for you the same way I feel for Sam or Charlie. Sam is my brother, he feels like my brother to me. Charlie wasn’t related to me, but she felt like a sister to me. You…you are different,” Dean paused and drew breath. The rest was blurted out. "I’ve never felt this way for someone like you before, it is usually of someone opposite of your…well, Cas, what I am trying to say is that I care for you too much to love you like a brother. I didn’t want to die because I wanted to live for my brother, and for you. I wanted to continue this fight with my brother and you by my side, and I wanted to tell you what I feel for you and all my thoughts I had while I had The Mark. I am being honest because I need to be. I don’t know when my last day is, or yours, and I want you to know how much I care about you, how much…if under different circumstances, if we didn’t have to go through all of this with The Darkness and the demons, and the never-ending job and you and I could be safe…how much I…I…”

“I understand, Dean,” Cas spoke as Dean’s words trailed off, Dean struggling to find words careful yet suited enough to tell the man in front of him how he felt about him.

“You do?” Dean asked with relief. Cas nodded and turned his hand over, squeezing Dean’s lightly, lifting the two of them in the air.

“The feeling you are describing is hard for me to grasp. We are being honest, yes? I had never felt it before, not until I became friends with you. I thought it was a normal thing, something I would feel with everyone, but no. This concept is something angels don’t experience, along with sadness, happiness, or even anger. I have known for a little while that there is something…more profound between us. You seemed uncomfortable with it, even though I could tell that you were feeling conflicted as well.”

“You could tell?” Dean questioned with suspicion. Cas smiled and tapped his wrist.

“I could tell, I can always tell, I am not as oblivious as you think, but like I said, it confused me. I knew that this would be something you would come to me about, because you are too stubborn to admit something until it is too late. You thought you were dying, which prompted you to ponder life and the people who have stayed by your side. You were prompted to ponder me. Why would I stay? Why did I come, even when I was fighting a civil war in heaven? Why did I rebel against my own? Why did I abandon heaven's army? I never really understood what attached me to you, what drove me to do all of these things, but it was ultimately about saving you. You, Dean, because I need you too, and I have never needed anyone, so the feeling is foreign and…curious.” Cas admitted. Dean smirked. The two watched each other before Dean finally withdrew his hand and his stare.

“I want you to know that this is your home. You are always welcomed here, or any of the crap hotel rooms Sam and I may be forced to stay in. We are your family, Sam and I, always. You can tell me anything, and we will work things out. I want to know about your problems, I want to help, and I want to listen, that is what families do. You can have your own room and everything.”

“My own room?” Cas chuckled a bit, the concept seeming childish. “Well, I’ve never had my own room before.”

“Well, now you do,” Dean chuckled as well.

“This is a kind gesture,” Cas spoke, “And I appreciate it and will accept it, but I have to be honest, Dean.”

“Of course, what is it?”

“Home is not a box built on this Earth. Home, to me…is you. You and Sam, you are my home, and wherever life takes us, no matter where we are, as long as I am with the two of you, I am home.”

“I understand,” Dean lifted himself up out of his chair and Cas mimicked him. Cas stood as Dean circled around the table and opened his arms, wrapping them around Cas, one hand on the back of his head and one around his waist. Cas leaned into Dean, tucking himself into Dean’s collar bone. Cas closed his eyes in content and Dean couldn’t help but smile. The hug held for only a few seconds before Dean pulled away and took a few steps back, patting Cas on his shoulder.

“I am glad you are okay, and I am glad you are here.”

“Me too.”


End file.
